This is How I became Happy with myself.
Ok, we’re getting personal now.
“Stop hating yourself for everything you aren’t, and start loving yourself for everything you already are.”
This post is gonna be something different and something a lot more personal. I have put this off for ages but I felt like I needed to get this out there. As you’ve probably seen, all my posts are very ‘surface’ level and nothing deep, so this is hard…please bear with me! (and read to the end!!) Here are some notes on how I became happy.
Confession: I had an issue with ‘letting people in’.
I say ‘had’…I’m still working on it!
Not only has this affected me, but it has also affected my relationships. The cause? not liking myself. I’m not asking you to attend my pity party, all I want is to get this out there because I know how much it sucks and if this can help one person… I’ll be happy.
I don’t think I have ever met anyone who has loved every single part of themselves – be it physical aspects or personality, but this shouldn’t be a normal thing. How is it more accepted in our society to hate ourselves than to love ourselves?!
I have always suffered with self image issues – mainly because I was a little pork chop when I was younger and I’m still tryna get out of it! haha – I grew up comparing myself to other people around me and then when I got older, the wonderful world of celebrities and ‘perfect women’ knocked on my door. This is a massive problem as it has become the norm for our media obsessed world, and it’s not just a girl problem. This issue always gets raised as a girl/woman’s issue but, oh heck, how wrong that perception is! I know plenty of guys who want to look like Greek Gods (not mentioning any names).
Anyway, comparison is NOT the way forward.
“COMPARISONS MAKE YOU FEEL SUPERIOR OR INFERIOR, NEITHER SERVE A USEFUL PURPOSE.”
Anyone with Instagram will know that there are some absolute babes on there with the perfect house, dog, partner, diet, face… but there are also some absolute babe filters. The lifestyle and bodies/faces these people show on social media is not real life but yet how many of us still look at a picture and think ‘I wish I looked like that/ I could live in house like that!’.
I didn’t realise how much the comparison monster affected me until I unfollowed every single account that incited any sort of doubt or unwanted feeling about myself. My goodness, I felt so good after I did that.
Putting yourself down because of comparison is not allowed. Why? Because this destroys your relationship with yourself and… the relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have. This isn’t a myth, this is real…I know because it has happened to me. I have destroyed SO MANY relationships because I hated myself. Not just because of comparison, but also because of things I have done in my past and because of not being the person I wanted to be. But this problem is also caused by looking inwards. When life revolves around yourself, you become your own focus, which is probably why you end up hating yourself; you’ve spent too much time reflecting on your flaws.
In Japan, broken objects are often repaired with Gold. The flaw is seen as a unique piece of the objects history, which adds to its beauty. Everyone has flaws, we just need to embrace them.
This is why you need to put others before yourself. When you start to become less focused on yourself and less hard on yourself, you can then become more confident in your own skin and be the person you were created to be, whilst also blessing someone else’s life.
You are you and there is no one even remotely like you. (Unless you’re an identical twin like me, then actually, yes, there is someone like you!) Putting yourself down because you are not what you want to be is STUPID and it’s also a waste of time. The only thing you’re doing is making yourself feel worse so its time to do something about it.
Here are 5 things that are helping me become a happier person…
5 things you need to quit:
- Trying to please everyone. You are always going to get that one person who will make your life a misery. You can’t please everyone, so don’t try to!
- Fearing change. This is a massive one for me – I hate change because I lose sense of control. Change can be scary, but the scarier thing is allowing fear to stop you from progressing and growing.
- Living in the past. You can’t finish the chapter if you keep re-reading page 1. The longer you live in the past, the less future you have to enjoy!
- Putting yourself down. Joel Osteen tweeted this the other day and I think he is quite right. “Never say negative things about yourself. We have enough in life against us already…Don’t be against yourself.”
- Overthinking. Hands up if you overthink everything… (yes, I have both hands up.) Overthinking makes things seem a lot worse than they actually are and it just leaves you with problems – problems that probably weren’t even there in the first place!
I hope this gave you a little encouragement and that maybe it helped someone… This is something that I’m still working on, but I have come a very long way from where I was before! If you want to find more about me, click here 🙂